I am reminded on a daily basis that my home is without a father. I am so happy that Christian and Larry are so close, but as Corey and Caleb get older, it becomes more and more difficult for me to watch them idolize their friends fathers. I love receiving every one's family pictures but when there is a husband / father in there, it makes me a little sad. This has weighed heavily on my heart lately and it makes me think of my dad. My father, who I love and respect more than my own breath. (Dad, if you read this, you should remember where that came from:-)
I will never understand why it takes me SO VERY VERY LONG to "get things" in my life. I will never be able to explain so many years worth of hurtful and STUPID actions on my part but what I do know is that now.. TODAY.. I am more grateful to my father for his patience, guidance, love and faith than I could have ever been before. Maybe that is what the circle of life is all about really. Just as my children are starting to hate me and be embarrassed by me, I am clinging to my parents.
I was reading something that Caleb had made in the first grade and it was about his "parents" I was in it of course but for the "father" section, he included my dad. He wrote about how he was 70 years old, he hated it when he choked him (?!@??) but loved it when they wrestled and played. For every one's information, I am pretty sure that he has never actually choked him. Wanted to... maybe... but never carried it through.
When my boys think of their father, they think of my father..(with the exception of Christian, of course) For that I am more grateful than anyone will ever know.
Dad,
Thank you for being so wonderful. You carry so much on your shoulders and yet you are always there for us. I only hope that one day I can love you and be there enough for you in return. Not that I want to one day change your diapers or anything but maybe we can work something else out.
Oh Yeah, and Mom, you know I love you too and I think you are the bomb diggity... I promise, you will star in your very own post very soon.
We love you all...