IF ONLY THAT WERE TRUE. :) Speaking only about my own life... It can be hard. I can of course make it much harder than it was ever meant to be. I think of my PAST. What is there to be said really? What a dumb girl I was. SO.. if given the chance do I take it all back? At first, one might think "Ummm YES!" However, if I think about this for longer than half a second, I see four little faces and my heart breaks. Of course you don't take it back. Is there an option to simply delete certain things? No.. No there is not.
PRESENTly, I just have to deal with these things. Somethings, Most things... affect more than just myself.. again, things I have to deal with. I am not sure why it is so hard to ask for help. Over and Over we have been promised that we are never far from comfort.
" I will not leave you comfortless: I WILL come to you."
-John 14:18
Neil L. Anderson, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said on Sunday: "The Lord will shape the back to fit the burden placed upon it." So.... FUTURE: I will deal. I will spend as little time as possible feeling sorry for myself and angry for the choices I have made. I WILL do my best to continue working on being happy and satisfied to just be happy. :) Certain things from my past may never leave me but I know that there is hope for a HAPPY FUTURE. Aren't we so amazingly loved and blessed to have the opportunity to work through our sin, no matter how big or small?
I know that who I once was has molded the person that I am today. This person will continue to mold the face I will see in the mirror in the days to come and well..... I just hope that I am not a hunchback from all that molding. :)
I am so thankful for the Prophet and those who serve at his side. How blessed we all are to receive such divine inspiration. Regardless of our time and place in life.... We are so loved by Heavenly Father and his precious son, Jesus Christ. If we follow the commandments and hold true to the covenants that we make......
LIFE... IS GOOD!
CONFERENCE... is GOOD!
I... AM GOOD!
( Well, I am working on it anyway!)
Isn't it amazing how we can know something in our minds but can't make it resonate in our hearts? When I sometimes think of the tactics Satan uses I can't help but marvel at his subtle yet effective ways in helping us doubt all we have been taught. Mistakes are made, I KNOW this because I have made PLENTY and some of them were bad....VERY bad. Satan sees me trying to repent and so he figures he can't stear me away completely right now so instead he tries to make me doubt that I have been forgiven. Tries to make me believe I am NOT worthy or LOVED enough to be forgiven. While serving my mission I had a VERY hard time letting my past mistakes go. I felt so guilty. I had gone through the repentance process. I had prayed to know whether or not I had done enough for those mistakes to be erased and in a VERY real and VERY spiritual way I was told that yes, it was good enough and that I needed to let it go. But I couldn't. Finally, in a meeting with my mission president he gave me the answer I needed. He talked about Alma the younger and talked about the part in the book of mormon when Alma is talking to his sons about his conversion. In those passages he says something about him no longer being harrowed up by his sins. My mission president explained that even though Alma remembered the mistakes he had made he no longer felt guilty because he had repented and had been forgiven. He said it's okay to remember the mistakes in fact it is IMPERATIVE that we do remember. If we could forget them we would eventually repeat those same sins. He went on to say...so Sister Warner remember where you have been, remember the person you WERE but DON'T feel guilty about your past. You have made mistakes, you have learned invaluable lessons and perhaps someday the things you have learned will help someone avoid the mistakes they are about to make. But he also gave me this counsel....DON'T TALK ABOUT IT UNLESS YOU FEEL INSPIRED TO DO SO. Dwelling on the past only makes it harder to let the guilt go. Sorry this comment turned out to be longer than well a comment. In fact it could almost be classified as a post! But you are right....life is GOOD....Conference is GOOD and YOU are ABSOLUTELY GOOD!!!
ReplyDeleteLoved Mandee's comment - couldn't have said it better myself.
ReplyDeleteI Love You!!!
I was all prepared to leave a detailed, heart felt comment. Then I read Mandee's. I'd like to second everything she said. Amen. I love you, Steph.
ReplyDelete